What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety involves a strong fear of being judged, rejected or negatively evaluated by other people. It can come up in obvious performance situations, such as speaking in front of a group, but also in ordinary interactions like meeting new people, seeing friends, joining a conversation, speaking up, eating in front of others, or even just feeling noticed or conspicuous.
A particularly difficult part of social anxiety is that it can make it hard to be fully present with other people. Instead of feeling absorbed in a conversation or able to respond naturally in the moment, attention can turn inwards, e.g. How am I coming across? Do I look nervous? Did that sound stupid? What are they thinking of me? Social situations can begin to feel like a performance, with worries about whether you seem interesting, confident or acceptable, or whether you ‘fit in’.
Over time, this self monitoring can make social situations feel even less natural and reinforce worries about how you are perceived. Some people start avoiding situations altogether, while others try to push through, though they may still hold back, rehearse what to say, try hard not to show their anxiety, or go over interactions afterwards wondering how they came across.