Relationships vary greatly among different people. People can hold different values and look for vastly different things from their primary relationships. There are many and varied pathways to a satisfying and fulfilling relationship. In this same way, relationship difficulties also vary greatly and should therefore be treated differently.
For some people, relationship difficulties involve arguments and conflict, whether this is with their intimate partner, or more broadly, with family members, friends, or other significant people in life. To some degree, conflicts are inevitable in any type of relationship and commonly occur due to differences in opinions, perspectives, values or ideas. However, when conflict is ongoing and recurring, and difficult to resolve, it can undermine the relationship, and impact general health and wellbeing
For others, conflict may not be problematic, but they may feel that their relationship is somehow unfulfilling, that it has lost connection, or that it is not how they want it to be.
For many people who are experiencing relationship difficulties, it can be very helpful to meet with a relationship counsellor to explore the patterns, and explore the potential for changes that can bring relief or bring greater relationship connection or fulfillment.
There are a range of potential sources for relationship difficulties to stem from. Some common factors are listed below:
Past experiences:
Past relationships, whether that be familial relationships, childhood upbringing or past intimate relationships, can have a large influence on current relationships. High levels of conflict in a person’s upbringing or in a long-term romantic relationship can lead to conflict in future relationships.
Life stressors:
Personal stressors such as work or financial stress can negatively affect our close relationships, particularly when somebody vents their stress on their partner, or ‘takes it out on them’ as a way to release their anger or frustration.
Views of each other:
When people experience specific hardships, it can place a strain on their relationship. If our view or perception of our partner begins to deteriorate, this can undermine the security and stability of the relationship.
Communication difficulties:
When people in relationships encounter differing opinions or values, the ability to communicate effectively and respectfully becomes very important. When couples can express their thoughts and feelings, and listen to each other, with a desire to understand and negotiate mutually acceptable pathways, this can greatly assist their ability to navigate their difficulties with less conflict and distress.
Being able to effectively communicate in a relationship is one of the most important factors in moving forward and moving towards a healthier relationship. With respectful and effective communication, we can achieve an increased understanding of our partner’s thoughts, feelings and vulnerabilities. This can increase closeness and strengthen the relationship. Sometimes, in order to move forward, engaging in counselling can help to improve communication and increase our understanding of our partner.
Relationship counselling, or couples counselling, can be very useful for both parties to become more conscious and aware of the patterns and dynamics that are occurring in their relationship. It can be very helpful to understand the patterns that we each bring into our relationships, and to understand our partner’s patterns also.
There are a range of counselling approaches that can be very helpful for relationships, including Emotion Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) and Behavioural Couple Therapy (BCT).
It can also be of assistance to attend individual counselling in order to strengthen your own communication skills and be better able to assess what is causing you distress in your relationship.
At Laburnum Psychology, we have relationship counsellors who are experienced in helping people navigate pathways forward when they have relationship concerns.
We are here to create a comfortable and supportive environment where we'll work to achieve the goals together
Call us on 03 9877 9179 or complete the enquiry form below. One of our staff will personally be in touch with you.
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